Thoughts of the First Apple Tree

(It is highly likely that this view of the fruit comes from a medieval
pun: the Latin for "evil" is malum and the Latin for "apple" is malus.

--Paul Edwards)

The lonely first apple tree of all time

          [grew from seed?--too hard a question]

          [maybe from another species' seed--apple trees

          are sluts--everyone knows that]

had a decision: where should I stash my seeds?

Should I stick 'em in my fruit

or shoot 'em from my leaves?

          [apple trees appear from 8000 BC

          in the Tien Shan mountains of eastern Kazakhstan]

          [the apple invented gravity--everyone knows that]

I'll stick 'em deep down in my core!

Why?  Protection from predators?

Or bribery of the very same

squirrels, horses and monkeymen

so the devious tree's seeds would be branched

          [with free fertilizer] around the world?

Damn slut apple trees [always naked] keeping

doctors away with a big scoop

of Cool Whip liqueur and a porn flick

of Ron Jeremy with Granny Smith.
The "first" apple tree of all time took Eve down

          ["translated"] into English in 1382

has a bad rep because she was sweet and thoughtful

and just wanted to be loved.

(c)Daniel Pravda                              2011

from A Bird in the Hand Is a Dumb Bird

Poetica Publishing Co, Norfolk, VA