Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Thoughts of the First Apple Tree

(It is highly likely that this view of the fruit comes from a medieval
pun: the Latin for "evil" is malum and the Latin for "apple" is malus.
--Paul Edwards)

The lonely first apple tree of all time
          [grew from seed?--too hard a question]
          [maybe from another species' seed--apple trees
          are sluts--everyone knows that]

had a decision: where should I stash my seeds?
Should I stick 'em in my fruit
or shoot 'em from my leaves?
          [apple trees appear from 8000 BC
          in the Tien Shan mountains of eastern Kazakhstan]
          [the apple invented gravity--everyone knows that]
I'll stick 'em deep down in my core!
Why?  Protection from predators?
Or bribery of the very same
squirrels, horses and monkeymen
so the devious tree's seeds would be branched
          [with free fertilizer] around the world?
Damn slut apple trees [always naked] keeping
doctors away with a big scoop
of Cool Whip liqueur and a porn flick
of Ron Jeremy with Granny Smith.
The "first" apple tree of all time took Eve down
          ["translated"] into English in 1382
has a bad rep because she was sweet and thoughtful
and just wanted to be loved.


(c)Daniel Pravda                              2011
from A Bird in the Hand Is a Dumb Bird
Poetica Publishing Co, Norfolk, VA

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