Saturday, March 6, 2010

Summer and Smoke

My Momma was running hot
bleached blonde crazy,
a crap shoot of slaps, hugs,
ambiguous permissions, it didn't matter
it had all been done before,
              -Look at her wild eyes, Charlie-
I was bad enough to earn distrust.

Then she dug my white cotton panties
our of the hamper to check
for what? I didn't know,
               -We were talking, that's all, Momma-
mired in real-life drama,
it was the night she wasn't there.

I played Blanch Dubois, won second place
in half the whole damn
state of Texas, second place!
Can you imagine that?

Looking for her face through
the red curtain slit, I was
wrapped warm in applause
and the kindness of strangers
               -Shut her voice up inside-

Kenny was back from Tulane
on his way to Viet Nam.  Top down,
we had burgers in his Corvair,
I sobbed in big gulps, he tried
to make it right, fondled my breasts.
I felt beautiful, returned
his wide-mouth tongue kisses,
                -but that was all, I swear.
                 Why won't you believe me?-

The next day we went to East Gate Mall
for new school clothes and shoes,
it was as good as her sorry ever got.


(c)Shann Palmer                         
from Dashboard Fire 2009

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