Thoughts of the First Apple Tree

(It is highly likely that this view of the fruit comes from a medieval     
pun:  the Latin for "evil" is malum and the Latin for "apple" is malus.

--Paul Edwards)

The lonely first apple tree of all time
     [grew from seed?--too hard a question]
     [maybe from another species' seed--apple trees
     are sluts--everyone knows that]
had a decision:  where should I stash my seeds?
Should I stick 'em in my fruit
or shoot 'em from my leaves?
     [apple trees appear from 8000 BC
     in the Tien Shan mountains of eastern Kazakhstan]
     [the apple invented gravity--everyone knows that]
I'll stick 'em deep down in my core!
Why?  Protection from predators?
Or bribery of the very same
squirrels, horses and monkeymen
so the devious tree's seeds would be branched
     [with free fertilizer] around the world?
Damn slut apple trees [always naked] keeping
doctors away with a big scoop
of Cool Whip liqueur and a porn flick
of Ron Jeremy with Granny Smith.
The "first" apple tree of all time took Eve down
     ["translated" into English in 1382]
has a bad rep because she was sweet and thoughtful
and just wanted to be loved.

(c)Daniel Pravda                    2011

A Bird in The Hand Is a Dumb Bird

Poetica Publishing Co, Norfolk, VA